Betsy Walker. 19. Bellevue, Washington.
Find the time to do nothing for a while.

Dedicated to everyone who wonders if I'm writing about them.

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10 Favorite Messes

1. You have some fucking nerve, talking to her like that. All she ever tried to do was fix things and make life easier for you and all of us, you’re the one that fucked everything up. Even the thought of you bringing your dirty side bitch anywhere near her makes me even more repulsed by you than I was before. No amount of money you give me is worth the effort I have to put in pretending I don’t fucking despise you. Fuck off. And die.

2. You are cute and smart and funny and pretty much everything I’ve been looking for but I honestly feel invisible to you. Just wished you saw me as at least an option. I don’t know if you see how great you are but even just looking at you puts a smile on my face and thats saying something. I know you’re not a drug but you get me so highh. I hope you find what you’re looking for, but I hope even more that you’ll find it in me. 

3. I do really miss you. I hope you don’t think that you never cross my mind, you do. It’s just better this way. But I do miss my best friend I just think we both know we aren’t the same people we used to be and it won’t work anymore. No use in trying to pretend we are something we aren’t. You can always talk to me though, I hope you know that. Look forward to hearing from you. 

4. I liked you first and you rejected me. Now you know how it feels. But why is it still hurting me so bad to hear you say you’re losing interest. I don’t think you understand the hold you have on me. But I could never date someone like you and I just want to go back to the way things were. I know what you’re doing and it sucks to have you not being honest with me. At least you still consider me a friend… but I hope you don’t think that that’s good enough. 

5. You’re still a bitch and what you did was wrong and fucked up in all sorts of ways. But the thought of wasting time being mad at you when we have so little time left seems ridiculous. I love you and wanna enjoy the time we still have and the thought of you leaving makes my eyes swell. I cherish our friendship to the stars and back. Don’t forget to give yourself credit for how awesome you are, you’re one of a kind. 

6. Glad to be in your life again. But once again you get me caught up in your shit storm drama and then just peace out to leave me alone and wondering. You should know its not safe to leave me with just my thoughts. Some things never change.

7. It’s really nice to have found a friend like you. You understand me like no one else has before to the point that I swear you can read my mind. I’m sorry the feelings aren’t mutual but I don’t want to throw away what we have when I know I would fuck it up if it was anything more. You’re great, and you don’t need my drama. I hate to say it but you should walk away before it gets worse; I tend to take people down with me. 

8. You. Are. So. Fucking. Great. I hate the you’re not always 30 seconds away from me and I hate that I never see you. But I don’t need to see you all the time to still fucking love you so much. You have no idea how much I need you and how much I care about you and how much I worry about you. I wish we could go back to being young before we had to worry about any of our shit. You’ve always been the best escape. Better than family. 

9. LOW LIFE PIECE OF TRASH. Some people just can’t speak for themselves and apparently that doesn’t go away with age. I’m sad for you, you don’t realize what you’re missing out on. Good riddance. 

10. Saved the best for last. I really fucking could have loved you, you know that? You put the life back in me and gave me a reason to wake up everyday happy. Maybe it was the mystery and the secrecy of what we had but I really do believe we could have been something great. That is, until I realized how big of a cowardly, arrogant, narcissistic shit bag you are. :) Friends. Don’t. Do. That. To. Their. Friends. Especially friends that are willing to do anything for you. I would have fucking gotten you the moon if you had asked me. It sucks loving someone who you could cross oceans for when they won’t even step in a puddle for you. You can go fuck yourself and I hope you don’t think I will ever be there like that for you again. You ruined something special and you took a piece of me with you. I’m sure you’ll be pleased to hear you’re still a heartbreaker, don’t worry you’ve still got it.